It feels like we were just celebrating your first birthday. I cannot believe that you are already two and quickly becoming a little boy. I have loved every minute of this last year - even the minutes in the middle of tantrums - because they were spent with you. You are the biggest blessing to us, sweet son!
You are the absolute light of mine and Daddy's lives. I cannot wait for you to wake up in the morning and after you go to bed, Daddy and I sit and talk about all the funny things you say and do. You are a complete joy, sweet boy! God has blessed us abundantly with your presence in our lives!
What a year this has been - what a fun, busy, exciting, heartbreaking and joy-filled year we've had!
I remember when you turned one thinking that you were so old. I couldn't believe my baby was not really a baby anymore. And now, looking at your first birthday pictures, you just seem so little and so baby-ish in all your expressions. You were barely saying anything distinguishable and hardly standing up by yourself then and now, you talk constantly - from the minute you wake up until the minute you fall asleep and run, hop or jump everywhere you go.
You are so funny. I spend half of the day laughing at the things you say and do. You absolutely love being the center of attention and you love making everyone laugh. I love that about you! I pray that you will always be a boy and a man who spreads joy and infectious fun to everyone you meet. Baby, you are such a character. I just love seeing the hilarious little kid you are becoming!
You also have a big stubborn streak that we've seen really come out in the last few months. While it's usually half-funny, half-frustrating to constantly hear, "No, Naynen do it!" it just makes me realize even more what a big boy you are becoming. I pray all the time that you are stubborn for good things as you grow up. That you cling to Jesus through childhood and adulthood, through joy and pain. Sweet Nathan, I want so desperately for you to know the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.
I love that you are becoming so affectionate. When you were littler, you were never the biggest cuddler and you still aren't. But you have moments every day where you come running over, give me hugs and kisses and tell me that you love me. I adore that. I treasure each and every one of those moments. You have really gotten into your reading time before naps and we will rock in the rocking chair and read for forever. I love that!
There is always going to be a part of me that is sad to see how quickly you are growing up. But oh, how much fun you are! I so wish I could freeze time and keep you this age - teetering somewhere between big boy and baby. I am soaking up every second that I can with you, my precious, precious son because I know I will blink and you'll be moving out of my house. It makes me teary even thinking of that day. I want these years with you to go by in slow motion so I can enjoy every last moment.
You have taught me so much about God's love, Nathan. I love you so much it aches sometimes. And because you are here, I now have a better understanding how much God loves us. If I love you this much, how much more does God love us? Honey, I would hold you forever and keep you this age when I can fix every owie you have, but I know that God's plan for you is far better than my hopes and dreams for you. I pray so hard for you, baby boy. I pray more for you than I have ever prayed for anyone in my life.
This past month has not been an easy one in this house. I know you've picked up on that, even though you can't quite grasp it yet. There have been many days where I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had you to hold and kiss and cuddle with. Precious boy, no matter what happens in the future, you are and always will be a big brother. We were driving home the other day and you were singing your own words and melody to the worship song on the radio and asked me to sing too and I realized that at that moment, we were as close to doing an activity as family of four as we would ever be, because your little sibling gets to worship and sing to Jesus every day. You have been so sweet over this last month - coming and sitting with me while I was on bed rest and snuggling in. It was precious to me.
I love you son. I love you so much it's hard to put into words. You are the child I prayed for before you were born and the son I adore. You are so loved, sweetie. You are surrounded by family and friends who love you and pray for you! God has given me more than I could ever imagine. Sweet Nathan, I am so thankful for you! Daddy and I could not love you more.