Before Jon and I got married (and I'll do the next installment in that story soon!), I couldn't imagine what it was going to be like to be married and to be a wife and to do all the things that I hated doing as a single person that I figured I would love doing as a married person (vacuuming my OWN house! Washing my OWN dishes! Cleaning my OWN kitchen!). Then I discovered that it wasn't quite as exciting to do all those things as I thought - actually, it was pretty similar to before, except this time I also had the added bonus of coming up with what meal we were going to be cleaning up.
Then when I was pregnant with Nathan, again, I couldn't imagine what it was going to be like to be a mom. I tried to think about what my days were going to be like - snuggling with my little guy, serenely rocking him to sleep, kissing those chubby cheeks.
And now I'm discovering that being a mom is also completely different than I thought it would be like. While I kiss his little cheeks so much that I'm amazed he doesn't just have two holes in the sides of his face from his cheeks wearing off, there is no "serene" rocking and about the only time nowadays that I can get him to snuggle is when he's nursing right before bedtime. Otherwise, he's up, moving, working out his vocal cords, rolling over to the entertainment center to poke at all the buttons, yanking DVDs off the shelves, grabbing for my laptop cords, and spitting up green beans and peas all over everything.
Going anywhere has become an adventure in itself because I have the tiniest window of opportunity after naptime and before its time to eat. So we run everywhere. And while he's gotten a little easier going places just because he can now sit in the cart, he's also reaching for everything he can possibly (or not possibly) get his hands on.
He's SO funny - he laughs and makes faces and tries to clap and copy sounds that you are making, but he also requires a TON of energy. My boy does not sit still! He is constantly, constantly moving and I've heard warning after warning from people about what he'll be like once he starts walking! He also does not play well by himself - he needs an audience and a playmate, whether it's me or Kody (poor Kody suffers horribly now that Nathan can roll over and grab his fur). He's pulling up on everything now and toppling over and learning how to hold himself up on his hands and knees.
He's figuring out where his toys are and his new favorite thing to do is sit in front of the toy basket and pull every single toy out and throw it on the floor. And he's such a ham for the camera and anyone he can get to watch him - he squinches up his face, he laughs, he giggles, he growls, he flaps his arms and is learning how to clap. He baby talks ALL. THE. TIME. and I am just already bracing myself for the nonstop chatter that is going to come out of this kid once he learns how to really talk!
About the only time it's quiet in my house in when he's sleeping, which is when I'm racing around trying to get everything done that I used to have the whole day to do.
Devotional times have become a quick read and lots of prayers just throughout my day. Writing happens on Thursdays when my mom is helping me with him and during naptimes. Vacuuming has become a one arm job because Nathan thinks it's fun to "help" me. I do a day's worth of dishes and kitchen clean up while Jon is giving Nathan a bath. And dusting...that doesn't usually happen unless we've got people coming over.
It's taken me almost a month to get halfway through a book I'm reading. And I have become the worst email-responder ever because by the time I have a chance to write people back, I'm usually falling asleep on the couch and I forget to.
Being a mom has been an interesting change. And it's JUST starting!
I want to remember every minute of this. Life crazy and exhausting and I know that if I don't write stuff like this down, I just won't remember.
Today I went to go get a pedicure with my friend Elisa who is getting married on Saturday and Mom kept Nathan. It was such a great girl time! He fell asleep in the car as we drove home and I pulled him out of his car seat and he snuggled his head on my shoulder and I just held him for a little bit before I put him in bed for a nap. And he was all warm and cozy and smelled like spit up, but even that smell has started to grow on me.
I pray all the time that I won't ever, ever forget any of these days.