01 02 03 Erynn's Blog: 21 Weeks :) 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

21 Weeks :)

Friday marked more than halfway through! So crazy... I've been looking back at the pictures of me a few weeks ago and while I thought then that I was absolutely huge and couldn't get bigger, I was wrong:

And I imagine, I'll look back on this picture at 39 weeks and laugh again that I felt so big! :) I seriously do double-takes every time I pass a mirror - it's such a weird feeling! I keep worrying that I'm gaining too much weight too quickly, but my doctor seems to think everything is okay. No stretch marks yet! Hope that fact doesn't change! :)

Friday morning was also the first time I saw my stomach move when our little man kicked - so weird, cool, freaky and amazing at the same time! I just saw there with this huge, stupid grin on my face and was like, "Whoa! What just happened?" I'm thinking he was reacting to the Raisin Bran Crunch I had for breakfast. I'm not a fan of raisins at all, but I love Raisin Bran Crunch. So, I just try to pick through and eat everything except the raisins. But for some reason, Kellogg's is continuing to put that huge scoop of raisins into every box and that morning's cereal had much more dried-up grapes than normal. I think the little guy noticed it and was complaining as well with a nice hard kick. And I've been feeling him more and more every day since!

Ever wish you could complain with a nice, hard kick? One of those hidden "fees" shows up on a bill and you're just like, "Fine!" and you do one of those ker-chaw! kicks right at the hiding-mean-old-fees-people?

Seriously, I've been thinking about this. Babies get away with everything. You want dinner? You scream and cry for it until someone finally gives it to you. No making it, no washing dishes. You just sit there and eat and let everyone else take care of everything for you. You're mad? You don't have to fake happiness, you again just scream and cry so that the whole world knows it.

I'd say I want to be like this, but I prefer to not become Lindsay Lohan.

I've been very overwhelmed with the whole thought of having a baby around here lately. Especially when Jon and I forgot to feed Kody one night until after 10:30PM. I pretty much broke down that day because I just knew we were going to be the worst parents in the whole history of the world.

Thankfully, God has seen fit to put a bunch of excellent moms in my path (including my mom and mother-in-law!) who have made me feel a little bit better about this huge thing called parenting. Apparently, babies cry when it's time for them to eat. Kody is one of those weird dogs who isn't that into food, so some nights I think he even forgets it's time to eat. Pretty much, as long as he gets his 19+ hour nap, a couple of rawhide bones to toss with Jon and a good massage a day, I think he could care less about everything else.

I've been noticing how much I worry over things that haven't happened: What if I do something wrong and this baby is messed up for life? What if I don't know what to do to make him happy? What if something happens to me and Jon? What if gaucho pants are back in style this summer? And on and on and on...

I was so completely stressed out and then the other day I just realized, wait a second. God is SO much bigger than me. And He is SO good at handling His plan for my life without any help from me. So, why do I feel the need to shoulder all of these ridiculous fears? Especially when He has proved time and time again that He is taking care of me?

I've been taking lots of deep breaths and praying more that God would just give me a reassured heart instead of my little worrying one.

And for those of you who would like news that is a little more fun than me losing my mind, I'm excited to inform you that today is the day that March is finally here with all it's spring fabulousness. Don't get me wrong - I love winter and I love snow, but there does come a point where it is time to pull out the flip flops. And on cloudy, cold, snowless days like today, I'm ready for the warm weather and the flip flops.

Have a great Monday!

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